your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
