Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
