Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
