woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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