I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
