office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
