Ambien. No doubt about it.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
