im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
