listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
