if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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