I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I party with great urgency now.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
