She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
