just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
