dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
