Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
