I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
