I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
