I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize