I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize