she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
