found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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