we have pet lesbian snakes
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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