Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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