This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
