Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize