It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
