I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
