You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
