Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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