I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
