And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
