Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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