I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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