question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
