Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
