That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
