Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize