I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
