Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Are we still banned from the library?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
