So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
