dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
