That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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