We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
