? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
