mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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