TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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