We named our party play list daddy issues
we made out on top of his cat.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize