hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Pooping to opera.
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