coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
