Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You have to summon your inner elephant
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
