You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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