So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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