I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
