he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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