i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
