he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
