in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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