bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
