i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
