Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
