if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
is that a dick in a sweater?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
