Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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