lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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