turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
